Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize