Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
