Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
me + whiskey = a bad person
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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