xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
