haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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