So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A bitchslap is in order.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
