I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
