I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
