I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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