i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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