Nicole vs. Life
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
