I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
