how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
