zippers are such a cool invention
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
