Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
