He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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