Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Success! We fucked roommates!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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