well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she peed on how many people?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize