I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
