I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize