So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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