How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
