Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
