is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it's great music for shaving your balls
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize