Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
