Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
