I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Houston, we have a blender
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
