Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
