She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
