She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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