I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
