Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize