I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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