I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its not stalking. its research.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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