I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
