Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Farmville is her only friend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
