last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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