haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
