You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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