I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
