i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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