sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
