Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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