Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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