I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
