my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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