The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
try to milk me bitch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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