Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I still have a little drunk in my system
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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