im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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