So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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