i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
