My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
