Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize