The best revenge is premature balding
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
